CLUES Oct 25, 2020
Newt Fink
Now we are here to think about giving.
Giving has always been central to worship: we naturally give to what or whom we regard as worthy of our attention, our following and our faithfulness.
We give to and for what matters to us.
Our starting place, culturally reinforced, sensible and practical, is this: give according to your circumstances.
Look at your budget, figure out what you can afford, make a judgment as to the value you receive from the church – its community and services and programs, and then make a sound business-type decision.
And that’s what we mostly all do.
Now over in the synagogue (as I am told) the members may be getting an assessment based on their relative wealth and then making a public pledge. Down at the Pentecostal church they may be on their knees praying for a dollar figure to be revealed to them. The Buddhists may be elevating above the question and meditating on non-attachment. At my son-in-law’s church they don’t have to do this because everyone understands when they join that they will tithe – or give 10% of their income.
Here, we mostly give – and are encouraged to give according to our circumstances.
Spiritual life and practice, however, as taught over thousands of years in almost all religious and wisdom traditions something like this:
“as you sow, so shall you reap.”
Jesus made it a little clearer in saying:
“give and you shall receive”
and
“the measure by which you give is the measure by which you will receive.”
So– as we might have learned to expect with the spiritual life – from these teachings – that our “give-according-to-you-circumstances” approach is backward.
Instead of our circumstances determining our giving, we are (someday) to learn that our giving determines our circumstances.
In other words – we will learn to give first – and trust that the spirit that gives us life will then take care of our circumstances.
…. A quantum leap
We need to be encouraged to look directly at the contrast between that way of being (give first) and our probably fixed ideas about giving? And – inescapably – to honestly consider how we arrived at our ideas about money?
I once watched a movie where the opening a scene showed a toddler who (I don’t remember why) maybe had been asked by his mother to give some of his candy to his brother. The kid has a total meltdown, wailing at full volume, clutching the candy tightly.
This is where most of us started: desperately holding on to a possession or a coin – and it became a habit we continue – in much more sophisticated ways now, of course.
More than almost anything else – money – how we use it, how we react to having or not having, how we feel about giving or not giving – money presents tests and huge clues to self-understanding. And self-understanding is the gateway to change and a happy and successful life.
(Self-understanding, by the way, is the silent on-going built-in background seminar here at the Gloucester UU church)
The child in the movie acts out the zero-sum game. And it goes like this: there’s only so much candy (money) and if I get it and hold it I’m going to be ok, but if I lose it or just give it away I’ll have less and that feels bad – maybe even risking my survival – certainly risking esteem in the eyes of others. And the zero-sum idea is prevalent in our culture – just look at the ads on TV – the message is get more, buy more, manage and build your wealth, and you’ll be smart and look successful and have prestige and power and – don’t be, or look like a loser – or be too free with your money.
Now we will look at a few clues which I believe can expand our consciousness around the idea of giving – and the function of money. Here’s one you may never have thought about.
Let’s say I have an idea. And then I tell my idea to you. I’m giving you my idea. Do I then only have half – or half the worth of that idea? No, we both have the same, an equal share – and as we discuss it, it is likely that we even have more because the idea gets refined by our interaction- you may make a comment that constructively changes my original thinking and, in collaboration and cooperation, we grow the idea and we can both feel a swell of good feeling inside – it’s the feeling from being creative and productive and the feeling from sharing – and the feeling that we each have more than when I started out with my little idea in my own mind.
Does my idea have value? Well sure – and maybe I could make some money with it.
But think, for example, about how Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela shared the idea of a truth and reconciliation commission. Imagine the value of that – the lives saved, the healing begun, the suffering side-stepped, the sacred example for the rest of our troubled world: want to try to put a price on that?
Our giving of ideas helps us refine our thought and self-understanding. Otherwise why do we call each other and set up time to have coffee or lunch or zoom or face-time with each other? The sharing of ideas is most often a net gain: we feel we have more .. most often at the cost of nothing .. most often to the end of happier and more authentic relationships and living.
So this is a truly fascinating clue. Is money, our material wealth, more than a simple idea – the sharing of which yields – not less – but more?
The zero-sum perspective really only seems to rule our mind when we deal with our money – and that’s a small part of life – the overvaluing of which will make us feel small as well.
Here’s another clue that may help expand our understanding. Everyone is familiar with the saying “the best things in life are free.” And, I think mostly we agree, but perhaps we haven’t given it much thought. It may help to think about people who seem to lead truly happy lives. What is it that they have?
Here’s what they may have in their store of treasures:
experiences of love, creativity, curiosity,
awareness of goodness and blessedness,
a practice of gratitude,
openness to intuition, insight and inspiration,
perception of beauty in nature and art – in and out,
the giving and receiving of human warmth, care, compassion, attention –
and the growth throughout time of all of these gifts of life.
Priceless! Treasures of a life well-lived; a happy life, a blessed life. Is there a connection to money? Possibly in some cases. More likely over-valuing and being preoccupied with money get in the way of receiving these gifts.
“It’s the thought that counts.” Here’s a short clue for expansion of consciousness. It’s not the money – how much or little – but that a message was given (a gift) to someone that told them (words not needed) “I am thinking about you,” “I care about you,” “We’re connected.”
Priceless. And virtually free. Sometimes we do it but we don’t really feel it … and then afterward we feel it; we feel good.
I am reminded of “Charlotte’s Web” – source of a quote often used by Rev. Wendy Fitting – her favorite piece of guidance for the blessed community: “Only connect.”
Quantum physics proves we’re all connected. Action – even just giving one’s attention to something (someone) – changes it – and with this act of giving – giving attention – with caring, generosity of spirit, empathy, compassion, support, reassurance, kindness – get the picture – the connection is in the direction of goodness. Can’t put a price on it – this is a built-in gift of life. Must be in the divine design! Thank you to the physicists.
Another clue from life science: synergy.
In the natural world we have entropy – the relentless decay of stuff back to its elemental components – like hydrogen and carbon and iron, etc.
But, in the potential offered in the gift of life – like the sharing of ideas – the efforts and energies of two working in harmony will exceed the input of each. One plus one is more than two. It’s called synergy. And, if you’ve experienced moments of a relationship where you worked in sync, you were energized and more productive than each working separately. Material stuff (possessions and money) are ruled by entropy – going down. Unity, togetherness reflect the more-and-more accepted spiritual principle – “we are one” and the effect is more, also known as synergy. A free gift. Must be in the divine design.
Another clue: love. Love works. It may not seem so in a snapshot of time. But it is the power that does not coerce. All opposing ideas – war and hatred and greed etc. self-destruct in time. Want to argue that?
Another clue: Have you ever known a giving and grateful person to be an unhappy person? Have you ever known a stingy person to be happy? There seems to be a feedback loop – giving and gratitude generate good feelings. Good feelings reinforce a way of being – knowing yourself as a thankful giver.
Now you ask, quite reasonably – “what’s the connection with all these clues?” And I would say that they are clues that remind us that the goodness and happiness of life have to do with ideas and practices and ways of being – none of which can be purchased or transformed into some kind of product. They connect with our inner life. They satisfy our deeper desires. Our hearts are engaged.
So the purpose of these clues is to help us put giving and money into good perspective. The enduring gifts of life – the “best things of life” – do not flow and grow from having and keeping but from giving and sharing – like the spirit of life itself.
I can’t think of any question of life that is more central to our spiritual growth (growing up) than “what do we do with our money”?
So now – these are the questions for our morning together:
Where in our city, where on our streets, where in our culture and media are the gifts of life purposefully sought and talked about and taught and consciously practiced?
Where do we learn of the worth and dignity of each individual person?
Where do we remind ourselves that we are part of the interconnected web of all life?
Where do we remember that there is no condemnation in the divine plan?
Where do we learn to celebrate diversity and to welcome each other with equanimity and peace?
Where do we think of such ideas as “Life is a gift for which we are grateful.”
Where is each one’s sacred inner life and unique legacy of faith respected?
All of these are questions are lifted up here, in this our sacred space, our virtual sanctuary, in our relationships and sharing in this blessed community, and within as much light as our congregation can let shine.
Our answers reflect our simple but deepest desires: to know ourselves and to love our neighbors as ourselves.
These are our very reason for being as a church.
Continuation of these light and life giving ways are the gifts we want to leave for the members who will come after us.
The act of giving is the opening clue. Because giving affirms connection – ah, you are here too – it’s not just me – it’s not all about me – life is the gift…. by giving and receiving we live – and we affirm it every week as we say:
In the light of truth
And the warmth of love,
We gather to seek, to sustain, and to share.
Life is a gift for which we are truly grateful.
We gather in community
To celebrate the glories and the mysteries
Of this great gift.
Take the clues!
Make your gift-pledge of money
– perhaps more than you had previously thought
– perhaps breaking an old habit about giving.
Be a blessing to yourself and to all.
